OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
