i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
