3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
