He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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