erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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