Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
