just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
