i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize