How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
