I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Every concussion has its silver lining
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
