P.S. I can't hear my feet
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize