So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
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