We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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