My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
