I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
