he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
