I just made out with a guy for $7.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You need Xanax blowdarts
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
