at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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