every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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