I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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