tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
