sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
