omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
