I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
