Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize