why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
