hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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