she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
