the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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