Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need to calm my uterus...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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