Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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