just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
