; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize