Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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