last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ketchup is God's man juice
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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