I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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