so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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