Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body

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  (818): i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body http://tfl.nu/r8xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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  (325): As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good, http://tfl.nu/ohf2
  Replies (11) Good night (4156) Bad night (1632)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision

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  (330): i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision http://tfl.nu/wqwa
  Replies (10) Good night (1169) Bad night (2109)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.

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  (732): I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time. http://tfl.nu/5sl5
  Replies (7) Good night (5455) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  (715): You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us http://tfl.nu/z8w6
  Replies (9) Good night (3335) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test

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  (608): and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test http://tfl.nu/8oo5
  Replies (14) Good night (3330) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?

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  (412): I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/mv3m
  Replies (12) Good night (1027) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"

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  (802): when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us" http://tfl.nu/ho4p
  Replies (3) Good night (1472) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...

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  (404): I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle... http://tfl.nu/sqj1
  Replies (3) Good night (1409) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking

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  (610): No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking http://tfl.nu/htwk
  Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours

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  (602): Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours http://tfl.nu/swqx
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.

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  (281): I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens. http://tfl.nu/dinq
  Replies (8) Good night (586) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.

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  (507): The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes. http://tfl.nu/cmuk
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success

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  (404): we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success http://tfl.nu/tn2h
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.

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  (618): The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there. http://tfl.nu/mol4
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (151)

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