I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are