So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Randomize
