Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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  (440): oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill? http://tfl.nu/149i
  Replies (85) Good night (989) Bad night (7412)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2797) Bad night (993)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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  (337): but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp? http://tfl.nu/p1my
  Replies (28) Good night (1229) Bad night (5829)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now

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  (248): I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now http://tfl.nu/d0ke
  Replies (16) Good night (5214) Bad night (1027)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno

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  (727): We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno http://tfl.nu/ajny
  Replies (12) Good night (3862) Bad night (1024)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

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  (817): Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea. http://tfl.nu/vfyw
  Replies (6) Good night (2721) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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  (719): Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right. http://tfl.nu/8sag
  Replies (12) Good night (4038) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!

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  (502): Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it! http://tfl.nu/c7ri
  Replies (7) Good night (3341) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.

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  (334): A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown. http://tfl.nu/tag1
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

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  (773): he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer. http://tfl.nu/dnae
  Replies (7) Good night (2699) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.

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  (502): It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass. http://tfl.nu/hhxz
  Replies (19) Good night (1103) Bad night (3140)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.

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  (610): And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting. http://tfl.nu/51mm
  Replies (10) Good night (648) Bad night (1499)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

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  (239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n
  Replies (7) Good night (542) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.

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  (501): Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys. http://tfl.nu/a792
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You're about wine.

  (585): View more from New York

  Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment

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  (716): You're about wine. (585): Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment http://tfl.nu/179v
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (174)

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