Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
