maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize