Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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