I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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