I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
