Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
