Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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