As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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