I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
