so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize