i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize