He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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