why didn't you poke me back
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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