They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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