she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize