Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We left the knife in your bed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
