Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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