just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
