I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
