Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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