is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
