Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
