so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
