We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
