I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
