i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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