So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
