they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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